8 Things Middle Schoolers do Every Day that Would Get us Both Fired

If adults behaved like middle schoolers, HR would need a panic button. A big red one. With a warning label.

But kids? Kids get away with the abnormal behaviors that society usually frowns upon- every single day. Inside the mind of a middle school PE teacher, here are eight completely normal middle school behaviors that would end any grown adult’s career before lunchtime (1:05-1:25pm).

1. Calling the Boss Anything Except their Actual Name

• Imagine walking into your workplace, passing your supervisor, and hitting them with:

  • Bro

  • Bestie

  • Bruh

Yet, middle schoolers have completely abandon government-issued names and replaced them with their Gen-Z vocabulary list- and honestly, they say it so confidently that you start questioning if you’re the one who is wrong. (I do believe this is the appropriate time to use the term “gaslight.”)

2. Turning in Work That is…. Incomplete

   Not late. Not sloppy. Incomplete.

   As in: the blank page IS the assignment. At a job, that’s called “not doing your job.” In middle school? It’s Tuesday and you’re not even halfway through second period… or sure why a student is turning anything in???

3. Missing 15+% of Mandatory Work Hours

   If an adult consistently missed 10-15% of their working hours would anyone think they work there anymore, or would the boss just hire someone else….

   But middle schoolers? They miss whole weeks in chunks, return with 12 Labubus attached to their binder and the question “what did you guys do yesterday?” Then act like nothing happened.

4. Getting Into Random Physical Altercations

   Adults are expected to use words, way too many emails, conflict-resolution protocols, and passive aggressive conversations in the staff lounge.

   Middle schoolers? They will fight over a pencil.

   Or a chair.

   Or oxygen… no, really- I had two students in class one time arguing over who was using more oxygen while they talked. I asked them to figure out who uses more when they listen.

5. Randomly Shouting “6-7!” for No. Reason. At. All.

   Picture this: you’re in a professional meeting. Someone raises their hand, waits patiently, then screams: 6,7!! And then continue to do this five separate times within a forty five minute window.

   Middle schoolers do this without hesitation and without context. We don’t know why. They don’t why. It’s simply instinct at this point. Or a mating call. Who knows.

6. Showing Up Consistently Unprepared

   Adults are supposed to bring

   1. pens

   2. devices

   3. folders and notebooks

   4. something

   5. anything

Middle Schoolers roll in like: “I have nothing. Not even a thought.” And somehow the teacher still ends up apologizing.

8. Asking “What Are We Doing Today?”Every Thirty Seconds.

   Imagine an adult employee asking in the doorway, at the copier, at their desk, at your desk, and again while you are literally explaining the schedule. And then asking again. And again. And again. If adults did this, then productivity would collapse. Middle schoolers? They haven’t heard a single word we’ve said since August.

9. Insisting That You Share Anything and Everything You Eat

   If your coworker said, “you have to share that with me because you’re eating it in front of me!” you’d either laugh at them in their face so hard or give them the nasty side-eye without any hesitation. Kids? Kids will announce that you owe them a sample of your snack even if they:

   1. Didn’t buy it

   2. Don’t like it

   or have the same exact snack in their backpack.

   It’s the law of adolescence.